Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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