He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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