Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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