There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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