One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize