you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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