does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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