she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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