wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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