I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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