The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize