why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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