If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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