worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize