we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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