What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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