The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize