you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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