____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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