I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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