she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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