there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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