We're like a lot better than the average bears
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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