babies were throwing up all over the place
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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