New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Houston, we have a blender
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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