My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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