so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize