Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize