i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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