Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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