We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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