walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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