What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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