he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
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Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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