I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize