Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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