Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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