I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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