Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize