I just made out with a guy for $7.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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