Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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