I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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