How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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