Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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