I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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