i think my tv is drunk
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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