Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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