I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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