peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize