i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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